You'll need to remember where these guys appear, make sure you have enough Wrath - the game's obligatory power-up ability - and ammo left to get them quick, all the while reducing health loss as best you can. The opening chapter in Afghanistan is insanely tedious, thanks to grenadier troops who can insta-kill players with one cheap grenade toss if you dally. You're just minimising inevitable damage at all times while trying to hold on to your pride.įull-on gunplay sections become memory tests later on, especially once you hit the Rambo 3 scenes. You'll still lose health of course, seeing as there's no clear strategy to avoiding the never-ending wall of incoming bullets. I found that I could just hide behind solid cover indefinitely, lock on to an enemy from my safe spot, stand up and take them down with a quick burst of fire. In fact you can even cheat the game with a pad using this mechanic if you can't be arsed dying over and over due to the ceaseless hail of gunfire during each section. So 'obvious' is the auto-aim that there's zero skill involved in taking down troops with your rifle, pistol or bow. You'll aim at enemies by accident when all you want to do is hit the explosive red barrel behind him to speed up your advancement through the torturous experience. Teyon's answer to the problem when using a pad is one of the stickiest auto-aim mechanics I've ever had the displeasure of wrestling with. I played the PC build with both a mouse and Xbox 360 controller. This is essentially a four-hour version of the Die Hard 2 segment of Die Hard Trilogy on PSOne, but if - like me - you never had enough pocket money to shell out on Namco's G-Con light-gun or some cheap third-party equivalent, you had to make do with using your pad like a chump. Movement is all on rails until you reach action points where - in something of a Time Crisis twist - you can pop in and out of cover to shoot soldiers as they meander politely, waiting to die. Anyway, you start off as Rambo during the Vietnam conflict that changes our hero into the unfeeling war machine you know from the films, and pretty quickly things start to pull apart at the seams like a bloody exit wound. There's the eulogist there looking very 1999. As they roll back into his polygonal skull, you'll see his slacked-jaw hanging there stubble and all, with a mouth that looks taught after too many sour sweeties. Fail a QTE scene and he'll take a bullet between the eyes. It's really strange, seeing as the game's new dialogue has also been given a similar treatment. I'm certain the audio has been ripped straight from the Rambo VHS tapes, which would have been quite cool if it didn't sound so distorted and out of whack with the rest of the game. His fellow officers look on through last-gen eyes while the muffled dialogue takes us back to key moments from the original film trilogy. The game opens with John Rambo's funeral, where the decorated war veteran's life is retold through a eulogy delivered by some kind of military official who appears to have been ripped from a PS2 game. I thought it would be the good kind of bullshit, but well, you already know where I'm going with this don't you? That's what I assumed about Teyon's Rambo game. This breed of film was bullshit, all of it but it was fun bullshit, hungover Sunday morning bullshit, the kind of bullshit you could absorb passively while watching grown men play soldiers. The man's face was pure teeth gnawing at the scenery for 90 minutes until it crumpled. Then consider John Travolta's mugging turn as Broken Arrow villain Vic Deakins. I approached it a bit like Arnold Schwarzenegger's action landmark 'Commando.' We all know the movie is utter bollocks, but its sheer absurdity makes it a rollicking success. I was cautiously optimistic about this one, I really was. Out today on PC, PSN and Xbox Live in Europe. Rambo: The Video Game is out today, and '80s action movie fan Dave Cook reckons it's one of the least-enjoyable games he's had to play in a very long time.
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